$4,000ĪL CAPONE – For most of my life I thought the word “gangster” simply meant awesome. I discovered he was talking about a suit and NOT some Milanese fashion model only after showing up at his door with a fiasco of Chianti and a sleeve of condoms. $8,495ĭOUBLE-BREASTED ITALIAN – When my tailor called and offered to squeeze me into a double-breasted Italian I nearly fainted. Who wore it better? Let’s just call it a tie… you know, in case he’s reading. WHITE LINEN – There’s only two people in the world who can pull off a white linen suit: Me and the God of Rock himself, David Lee Roth. This would go on to become a very expensive legal problem. It also didn’t hurt that whenever I wore it I carried a bat and a ball, chewed tobacco, and introduced myself as Jorge Posada. Here are ten of my old suits that I’m willing to let go for rock bottom prices.īLUE PINSTRIPE – I bought this because I thought the pinstripes would help make me look like a Yankee. Word play five! Of course I’m using the phrase “grace them with presents” loosely insofar as I’m not really giving you presents as much I’m selling you my old clothes, but I digress. If he’s a good king (like me) and his subjects have been loyal (like you) he may choose to not only grace them with his presence but also with presents. Not only does it stave off the possibility of rebellion but it also allows him to choose some hot peasant chicks to prima knock boots with later. Every once in a while a king must step down from his throne to mingle with his subjects.
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